May 2006

Tuesday, May 2, 2006
            Started Chapter 22 today, the one where the main character (a.k.a. protagonist) drives to the concert and gets stopped by the police. I skipped a few chapters because I don’t know anything about radio stations and producing radio programs. My protagonist is a producer/writer and I’d like to include at least one scene where he’s on the job, possibly two, so I sent an email to the general manager of a local radio station, hoping I can at least see what a studio looks like and maybe get some insight as to what the hell my character does for a living. Plus, another interview means another Acknowledgement, which will help promotions once the book’s published.

BOOK NOTES: A few years ago, I got arrested in Georgia while driving south on I-95. It’s a long story with twists and turns that I won’t bore you with, but the police scene in CKR—despite my changing the charges, the circumstances, and most everything else—hopefully gives an accurate portrayal of the anxiety I felt throughout the strange ordeal of being caught red-handed for something I didn’t mean to do, then discovering my license had been suspended three years earlier for doing something I didn’t know I’d done. Another “fun fact” about this chapter is that it’s the only one in the book that uses actual song lyrics and not merely titles. My thinking was this: If I get permission to use lyrics, I’ll keep them in; if I don’t, I’ll have only one chapter to edit.

CHAPTER CLIP: As the Southern-fried metal rock guitar riffs filled the car’s interior, Ted’s confidence overflowed.

Thursday, May 4, 2006
            The Pens critiqued Chapters 3 and 4 tonight. Everyone’s in agreement that Chapter 3, as it’s written, has to go. It’s the one where the guys get stoned while driving to Orlando on Friday. The dialogue’s good, but there’s not enough action and men simply don’t talk that much—even when they’re high—so I need to break it up a bit, maybe have them pull over somewhere. Or stop for coffee. Or something. Randy’s read through Chapter 10 and he skimmed through the sex scenes. I told him, where the sex is concerned, I’m trying to walk the line between literature and porn. He says it’s a close call. Good! Kid Rock did a thing on the Showbiz Show with David Spade tonight (Comedy Central), but I missed it drinking with the Pens after the meeting. He supposedly spoofed his sex tape. He’s fucking everywhere! And I’m getting pissed that everybody keeps “stealing” my ideas. Like when I started writing Immortal and discovered Deadwood. I’d write a scene & they’d do one just like it. Or the CSI:Miami episode that had someone falling overboard without a trace. I know it’s just the “blue car syndrome,” where it seems like everyone is copying me, but this is getting ridiculous.

Friday, May 5, 2006
            I’m still not sleeping well and, although I appreciate this “drive” thing, I don’t see how killing myself is going to help finish this book. After throwing-up my morning coffee (I’m really not healthy these days), I decided to ditch Friday housework & laundry today (say it with me: aaahhhhh) to edit Chapters 5 and 6, revise the strip club scene to change the song and include the second dancer, and put this Diary together. I’ve been racking my brain for weeks trying to think of a “blog” idea to help market and promote my stuff, but I don’t really know what a “blog” is and what the hell do I have to say that anyone else would be interested in? But then, what kind of question is that, considering my plan to write books for a living? Is that hypocritical? Or just fuckin’ stupid?

Saturday, May 6, 2006
            I was at a dinner party with friends tonight, drinking, laughing, and shooting the shit, when I casually mentioned to our friend Chris that I was working on a book titled Chasing Kid Rock. I didn’t go into detail, but I did mention that, although the storyline has little to do with Kid Rock, I’m hoping, once it’s finished, that I can get the guy to at least read it and maybe endorse it or give me a blurb for the back cover or something. Now, because we’ve known Chris for several years, I forget that he’s an executive editor for a local nightlife magazine. So when he said, “Do you wanna meet him?”—like it’s no big thing to just make a couple calls and go hang out with Kid Rock—I was stunned. If I thought I couldn’t sleep before, it’ll be much worse now, because I’m armed with the knowledge that it really is possible for a housewife in South Florida to get to Kid Rock. What if the book’s not good enough? What if he doesn’t like it? I think I’m going to puke. Again.

Sunday, May 7, 2006
            Scott and I sat on our patio until 2:30 last night (or would that be this morning?), talking about the book and what I hope to get out of it. Because my husband’s not a big reader—I joke all the time about his reading only Florida Sportsman and Fortune magazines and having zero interest in fiction—the fact that we discussed the book for a couple hours is amazing in and of itself. But he knows me better than anyone (sixteen years of marriage will do that), and, like me, he’s a Kid Rock fan, so he understands how deeply personal this project is and how passionate I am about it. He also knows that I know what I’m capable of. Of course I want a bestseller, what author doesn’t? Of course I want it to be well-written and funny and explicit and controversial and everything that Kid Rock is, but, at the end of the day, this book is really just a big “Thank You” note to express my gratitude for filling the last decade of my life with a kick-ass soundtrack. And for inspiring me to fast-forward through confidence and bravely embrace Cocky, because I know I’m good at what I do and “it ain’t braggin’…if you back it up.” If that makes me a groupie, so be it. And if I sell a million copies, even better. Fuck the critics and the people who will think I only wrote this book to make a buck. They have no idea what it’s like to be not merely inspired but driven. To lose sleep, skip meals, ignore family and friends, and let everything around me go to shit because I believe with everything I am that I can take this book where it needs to go. And, despite the obvious commercial possibilities, I’m doing it for only two people: the man who rattles my car speakers every day and the man who shares my bed every night. I wouldn’t be where I am without either one of them…and it’s payback time.

BOOK NOTES: I guess I was about half-way through the manuscript draft when the first signs of my overactive ego shifted gears, but I only recently noticed. Within my writer’s group, we’ve debated whether or not a big ego is necessary for a writer, and there are people on both sides of the fence. I could blame Kid Rock for showing me how cocky’s done, but then who do I blame for all the times I was full of myself prior to 1998? Besides, I can’t help but think that this book needs a little arrogance in its promotion, maybe even in its creation. Would YOU buy a book titled Chasing Kid Rock if it was written by a housewife? I wouldn’t. That would be boring as hell. So, as I’m writing, I can’t think of myself as a housewife. I have to be a storyteller worthy of the challenge and confident that I can write this book better than anyone else. So, if you spot attitude in the book or in its promotion, now you’ll know why it’s there.

Monday, May 8, 2006
            I’ve got some ideas rolling around for two new chapters that would become Chapters 1 and 2 and shift everything else up (which means the chapter numbers I’ve mentioned in this Diary will likely be different when the book’s in print). I need to get the main character’s description in early, plus the reader needs to like him—identify with him—and the way the book starts now, he seems like an ass (see, the Pens were right). I’m also thinking about adding a scene at the end where the protagonist hides in a bathroom and Kid Rock comes in to use the urinal. Just an idea. We’ll see if it flies. And, because I haven’t had the time to really put my writing head on (this wife and mother thing is seriously getting in the way of my writing career), I’ve started working on the book proposal, which consists of the “hook,” the target audience appeal, and a 3-page synopsis. I’m sure it will change when the Pens get hold of it, but here’s what the hook is now:

Despite a weekend full of sex, drugs, and NASCAR, radio show writer and producer Ted Seever can’t stop thinking about his wife’s unexpected request for a divorce. Should he take the advice of his two adulterous best friends and let her go? Or should he tuck his pride between his legs and try to win her back?

With only six chapters to go, I’m also growing more concerned with the publishing issue. I’m bound under contract to give the publisher of my first book the first crack at my next book, but I’m worried the small company won’t have the resources to take CKR where it needs to go. But, since my first priority is to finish the book, I’m trying not to think about it too much.

Tuesday, May 9, 2006
            What the fuck was I thinking? I’m worried about my publisher discovering I have a “next” book that I’m contractually bound to give him, and then I put a diary together to market the book I don’t want him to know about and make plans to publish the diary as a “blog” on the Internet where my publisher can see exactly what I’m doing. God I’m an idiot! So, it’s square-one again. I’ll submit the book like I’m supposed to, see if he wants it, and if he does, then I guess I’ll let him have it. I’ll just make sure the contract allows me to sell the paperback rights in a timely fashion. And then, of course, there’s the movie….? (And I have the perfect opening song: Where U At Rock.) But on a happier note, I spat out the first six pages of the new first chapter. (I’m keeping the first sentence a surprise.)

Wednesday, May 10, 2006
            Finished the new Chapters 1 and 2 today, which introduce the protagonist much better than the originals did. I think the Pens will approve. Unfortunately, adding the chapters at the beginning shifted all the chapters I’ve written up a couple numbers (meaning the old Chapter 1 is now Chapter 3, etc.). It wouldn’t be so bad if each chapter wasn’t a separate file named after the chapter. Once the book’s finished, it’ll all be combined into one file, but, for now, it’s a little confusing. I also counted the number of pages I have so far: 230. I’m shooting for 90,000 words, or roughly 330, double-spaced pages (using Times New Roman 12pt). But if I hit 80,000 words and feel the book’s complete, I’ll be okay with that. I am, after all, writing this for men who don’t read, so what’s a few thousand pages?

BOOK NOTES: When I wrote the first draft of these chapters, I had no idea what the inside of a radio studio looked like, nor did I have a firm grasp of my characters’ responsibilities in his profession. But I plowed ahead, anyway, and will go back and edit after I’ve met with the radio station GM. (One of the benefits of writing a scene before you do an interview is that you’ve got a better idea of what specific questions to ask.)

CHAPTER CLIP: There’s nothing duller than a fish story.

Thursday, May 11, 2006
            Lately, I’ve been popping Zantacs like they’re Tic Tacs. My two cats, who usually stick to me like glue, have given up on me and started snuggling with Scott. This can’t be a good sign. But I keep reminding myself it’ll be worth it. Without time for “real” writing, I’ve been working on the Diary and some promotional ideas. I’ve also started making some notes to update my website (http://www.DawnScovill.com), which is about two years old, contains outdated material, and needs a facelift. Plus, I can feel the anxiety kicking in over hurricane season, which begins in only a few weeks.

Friday, May 12, 2006
            I very rarely dream, but, last night, I dreamt that I bought two snakes at a pet shop, let them loose in my house, then worried constantly—frantically—that they’d eat my cats. I hate snakes. I woke up in a sweat, asking, “Why would I willingly create such chaos in my own house?” I’m thinking it’s time to take a Kid Rock break.

Saturday, May 13, 2006
            No writing this Mother’s Day weekend. Scott called me from work yesterday and requested that I stop talking about Kid Rock and the possibility of meeting him. He’s taken his copy of the Live Trucker CD out of his truck. He thinks I’ve become an über-groupie. He has no idea. I tried to explain that I’m not planning to meet the guy. That, once I got my head out of the clouds, I realized all I need to do is get someone to whisper in his ear that this book exists. But Scott cut me off. Of course I’d like to meet my musical idol. Who wouldn’t? But writing is a business: you create a product, market it, and hope it sells. It’s just that this book has so much of Kid Rock in it, it wouldn’t be right—although it’s perfectly legal—to publish it without him seeing it first. I want him to see the book, not me. He’s got enough people climbing on him without some married-with-children Florida transplant from Rochester, Washington (population 1,829), getting in his face.

Monday, May 15, 2006
            If anyone thinks writers only write, they’re sooooo mistaken. Our hats are many, and real success requires competence in sales, promotion, marketing, target marketing, public relations, accounting, economics, networking, advertising, speech writing, public speaking, and patience. Lots of patience. And I wish I could concentrate on one project at a time, but I can’t neglect Immortal Bonds, the Pens’ Anthology, my web site, my other web site (TheOfficialRealm.com), or my house and family. Or my mother. Or my grandmother. Or my friends. Or my writer’s group…Plus I try to submit short pieces to contests or magazines now and then, to get my name out there. So I submitted my short story “The Pens” to an Open Fiction contest today and did some research on potential web sites for promoting my stuff, including this blog (which, as of this date, hasn’t been “officially” posted online yet—but it’s happening soon). The money’s steeper than I expected, but you get what you pay for, right? And I trust the guy behind my web presence with my life, so that’s a bonus. (How many people can say that about their web designer?)

Tuesday, May 16, 2006
            My head is much clearer than a week ago. And I don’t feel like throwing up. Out of curiosity, I Googled myself (in quotes) and got 7 results. Got 179 for Scott, but—as far as I could tell—only one of them was actually my Scott. I tried The Bloody Pens, too, but only got a couple actual reference pages. (If you’re interested, our freebie homepage is at http://www.TheBloodyPens.FreeWebSpace.com, and that’s my plug for the day.) I also worked on Chapter 25 (formerly 23), where the protagonist weaves through yet another unfortunate predicament.

CHAPTER CLIP: So what if he worked on some stupid radio show, he was still the guy in the back seat and not the one up front with ready access to firearms.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006
            Worked on the concert chapters (26 and 27, formerly 24 and 25—God, this is confusing). I’m pushing hard to finish this manuscript draft, because I’d like to lead a normal life again and I don’t think that’s going to happen until I’m done. I’ve got the framework for the scenes, but I’ll definitely need to go back and add detail. Plus I could use a visit to the amphitheater here in town. As many times as I’ve been there, I don’t remember many specifics about the layout. But detail is my biggest weakness in the first draft, nearly every time. Right next to “add more action to the dialogue” and “show more of the characters’ thoughts.”

CHAPTER CLIP: When people discover you’re a Kid Rock fan, they automatically assume you’re a foul-mouthed, stoned redneck who doesn’t have a pot to piss in but still believes his shit doesn’t stink./And in Ted’s case—especially at this point in time—they’d be absolutely right.

Thursday, May 18, 2006
            When I set a goal for my first book, I chose $30,000—the amount I could have earned in a year working a “real” job—which means I’ll have to sell roughly 15,000 copies to consider it a success. But with CKR, the goal has to be bigger to reflect my expectations. So, last night I decided my goal for this book is to sell more copies than Paris Hilton and her dog (meaning no disrespect, of course, to Merle Ginsberg and Jeff Vespa who wrote Paris’s book, nor to the ghost writer who penned “The Tinkerbell Diaries”). I’m not sure what that number is exactly, nor do I ever expect to discover the actual sales figures, but the heiress’s memoir was at the top of the NYT Bestseller list for five weeks. Which says something sad about our culture. I mean, come on! Are people really that interested in a clueless, skanky blonde whose best publicity came from a leaked sex tape? Oh, wait—that could apply to more than Paris Hilton. Forget I said it.

Friday, May 19, 2006
            Say you’re a chick getting ready for a party. You spend two hours fixing your hair and makeup, slip into the red dress it took you months to find, and stand in front of the mirror. Everything looks perfect, you think. Won’t everyone be impressed? When you get to the party, your friends squeal with delight over your new dress. “It’s beautiful,” they say. “You must have spent a fortune.” But, then one of them asks, “Why didn’t you buy the blue dress?” And that starts the flood. “Yeah,” someone agrees, “blue is a much better color on you.” “And why put your hair up when it looks fine draped over your shoulders?” “Can you move the hair clip to the other side?” “Did you want that much cleavage showing?” “Shouldn’t you have worn different shoes?” Makes you want to run, crying, all the way home. That’s how my critique went with the Pens last night and all we read was the Book Proposal and Synopsis. They haven’t seen the new first chapters. But, as hard as it was to hear, their suggestions were “spot on.” There’s an underlying theme to the story that’s not coming out. Maybe I can see it, but the Pens can’t, and that’s a big deal, because that means the reader (that’s you) won’t see it either. I make jokes about this book, saying I’m creating a new genre (a.k.a. Redneck Fiction) by targeting people who don’t read (it’s a huge untapped market!), but, obviously, it still needs to meet the criteria of a “sell-able” novel. The story has to arc, meaning it needs an obvious beginning, middle, and end. The protagonist has to develop and change, based on the experiences he has throughout the story. It might be entertaining to drag a character through strip clubs and NASCAR races and rock concerts, but each scene has to contribute to the plot. If it doesn’t, it doesn’t belong.

Saturday, May 20, 2006
            Scott put Live Trucker back in his truck. I knew he wouldn’t last long.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006
            Worked on Chapters 27 and 28. The big finally. I’m not liking the way the narrative is unfolding, but I’ll go back later and smooth it out. I’d rather get the story down first and edit later. I do like the ending, though. It was a surprise even to me, because I’d planned to do it differently. I’ve mentioned it before, but, sometimes when I’m writing in the zone, the characters start to talk and move and think on their own. It’s hard to explain. And, no, I’m not schizophrenic. Although, I do feel a little “off” most days. I also mulled over a few suggestions from the Pens concerning the hook, which, as expected, is nowhere near what I started with. It will now most likely be something like this: Ted Seever was devastated when his wife asked for a divorce, but he’s got one last chance to get her back. All he has to do is make it through the weekend.

BOOK NOTES: You can’t put the name “Kid Rock” in the title of the book and NOT have a concert scene. Anyone can go online and read reviews by music critics for nearly every concert he puts on, so I’m not giving up anything new. However, I hopefully added something to the experience that most fans don’t get to see.

CHAPTER CLIP: If Ted had a dime for every stupid thing he’d done in his life, he’d be sitting on a nice nest egg. Or at least a couple hundred bucks.

Thursday, May 25, 2006
            The Pens tore through the new first chapters (1 and 2). It was relatively painless, so I have to wonder if they’re not feeling sorry for me at this point. General consensus seems to be that I’ve got a much better beginning than the first go-round, though, so I’m encouraged that I haven’t written 200+ pages of crap (which would suck). Someone in the group pointed out that there’s an overabundance of cursing, even in the narrative, so I’ll likely edit a good chunk of the profanity out. But there’s plenty. I read a while back in Stephen King’s On Writing (and I’d quote it, but someone’s borrowed my book) that you can’t be afraid to tell the truth when it comes to dialogue. If you hit your thumb with a hammer, what word jumps out of your mouth? It’s been my observation that even the most religious souls will scream “SHIT” in that situation. But I also don’t want to curse simply for the sake of cursing, especially if it detracts from the story.

Sunday, May 28, 2006
            I have to say I’m feeling almost “normal” again, if there is such a thing. Being on the boat today helped. I also forced myself to go for a walk a couple times last week. (This profession is great exercise for the mind, but it does nothing for my ass.) I’m eating better, sleeping better, and have reconnected with my family. When you’re overwhelmed (okay, obsessed), it’s hard to see the forest for the trees. Last week, one of the Pens made the comment that I’m “so caught up in the cuteness and pizazziness that [I’ve] created, [I] have lost sight of the most important, fundamental part of the book: the relationship and the complications surrounding that,” and he was absolutely right. It took a few days to sink in, but I see now that too much of my focus lately has been on the novelty and promotion of this project. It was a nice detour, but I need to get back to the story and start crafting it like I know what I’m doing. Besides, who ever heard of promoting a book before the damn thing’s even finished?! But I’m not totally off track. I had the opportunity last night to chat about the book for a few minutes with Scott and one of his life-long friends, who, like Scott, is not a reader. He is, however, married (with child) and a fan of racing, fishing, Coors, and everything else in this story. In other words, he personifies my target audience. He asked good questions and seemed genuinely interested in the concept—and that’s the stuff that keeps me believing I can pull this writer thing off.

Tuesday, May 30, 2006
            I wrapped up the last chapter (28) today. All I have left is the Epilogue and the two chapters I skipped (22 and 23) because I haven’t met with the radio producer yet. (It’s a long story that involves my not having a car for 3 months.) It’ll be great to have the first draft finished—maybe within the next couple of weeks—but I know I’m a long way from done. As I write, I jot down notes on my chapter outline, so I can go back and add or delete or change things when I do the first re-write. Some notes are chapter-specific, but others (like lines of dialogue, scene or character descriptions, etc.) might simply be something I’d like to add “somewhere” in the story. It’s easier than trying to play catch-up every time I have an idea, although I do plenty of that as I’m writing, too. Not everybody edits as they write, but I do. It slows the process a bit, but it makes edits and re-writes easier because I’ve already got a good foundation to work with.

BOOK NOTES: You might think you know how it ends, but don’t be too sure.

CHAPTER CLIP: “Nice fuckin’ hat.” 

Wednesday, May 31, 2006
            I thought I’d take this opportunity (while I’m not writing the book) to address editing a little more, because, when I first started taking my writing seriously, editing was the part I understood the least. If you think writing is all about creativity and using your imagination, throw that thought out right now. I mean it. Sure, the writing part is important (duh!), but no piece is finished until it’s crafted, and that’s where the real work comes in. Obviously, you’ll want to make sure there aren’t glaring typos or grammatical mistakes, but you also want your story and your characters to develop gradually and logically. And you don’t want to begin a chapter with your character in a green shirt then end with a red one—unless the character changed clothes, of course. If you’re serious about writing, you MUST learn the craft, which could mean joining a class or a writers’ group or simply subscribing to Writers’ Digest or participating in one or more of the online communities on the Web. Crafting—polishing, editing, re-writing—is not an option, it’s a necessity.